If only you knew
July was (or rather, still is) officially my worst month ever in my books.
The 20 years and 9 months that I've lived in this world, I've never had so many bad news to deal with all at once before.
Maybe I've led a charmed life.
Maybe everything's been too easy all along.
But when reality slaps you that hard (oh so damn hard) in the face, you begin to wonder what the reason is behind the closed curtains.
It was more pain and tears and suffering than one could ever imagine.
The countless visits to different hospitals seeking different opinions.
The countless scans I had to go through (I swear the radiation is acting up on me now - my memory loss).
The countless jabs and the bruises that followed after.
The operation.
The post-operation infection.
The immense pain that followed.
It's been eleven days since the operation and I'm still on the road to recovery.
Pain has decreased substantially.
No more need for pain killer.
But terrible thing is having to eat only soft porridge every single day.
Especially now that I am back in Melbourne.
My first attempt today at making chicken porridge failed terribly.
Burnt the chicken and porridge.
I know I am lousy.
But hey, I downed it all (with disgust).
Extracted my wisdom tooth a week before the unexpected operation.
The very same day I extracted my tooth, I received very bad news.
I freaking failed my freaking Investments paper.
Double OMFG. I dunno what to say.
Yeah, that's my whole summary of my freaking bad month.
I hate July.
Effing hate July.
Stupid July.
And to think that I actually thought 2008 was gonna be a great year for me.
Righttttt...
For now...I shall just live with it.
Am still in search for the reason behind all these.
Is there really a light at the end of this tunnel?
Hopefully August comes with better news than this.
My life is sooooo running out of good news.
I am beginning to believe that someone laid a curse on me.
WTF, I know.
But how else could one explain this???
How could all the bad news come in one go?
Well, at least there's one thing I've learnt from all these.
That when you're down in the pits, people who love you will always stand by you.
They will go through it with you and I know who loves me most now.
Thank you everyone who's been there for me, encouraging me and loving me.
Thank you mummy. Without you, I dunno how I would have gone through all these. I love you!
Thank you daddy. Though you showed much less TLC than mum, I know deep down you still care.
Thank you bf. You are honestly the best bf ever! Me love you!
And my other friends and relatives who visited me or called or sms, you made me realise the importance of my existence in this world.
Maybe yes, there is a reason to everything after all?
Maybe it was all played out by God to make me see the important things in life.
And yes, I still do believe God is out there watching me.
Right now, He's carrying me, leaving only one set of footprints in the sand.
As for me, I shall just lie in His arms and trust Him to get me through it.
When God gets you to it, He'll get you through it.
Will never forget that phrase, once overly used by a friend of mine =)
The phrase means much much more now than ever.
I miss home. I miss mum. I miss dad. I miss everyone.
And if you're reading this right now: Chui Mei, Ivy, Pearly - you know how much I love you girls! MWAH!
