Metamorphosis, The Transformation

Lately, I’ve been addicted to all things Audrey Hepburn!
To me, she’s this timeless beauty, which does not age with time.
Even her version of Moon River is a timeless piece.
I love it! I love her!

Back in high school, mum used to make me watch olden black and white movies together with her.
And I always refused and made a big fuss, because they were black and white!
Then one fine day, I was ‘forced’ to watch “My Fair Lady” with mum.
And boy, was I enthralled by Audrey Hepburn’s ravishing beauty.
She’s the ultimate upper-class beauty, whom you can place anything on, and she’ll just glow in them.
She even looks beautiful in rags!
Can you imagine?

I arrived back in Melbourne yesterday.
And I’m homesick as hell right now.
I’ve been crying all night, and all morning.
It’s almost sickening, seeing my swollen eyes.
And to make things worse, I just have to play my favourite sad songs in the background to drown out my sobs.
Which in turn, makes me cry even more.
But thank goodness for Eileen, for she’s one person who can talk some sense into me!

Now that I’m all cried out, it’s time to talk about my awesome one week back in Malaysia.
Honestly, I’d say that this year, albeit my worst year ever, turned out to be my best birthday so far!
Although the actual birthday is this Sunday, we celebrated earlier in Malaysia.
Friday night was my birthday dinner and Dad got two tables at South Sea.
Invited my close family and friends.
My dearest Daddy & Mummy, Uncle Charles & family, Grandma all the way from Singapore, Yenshan’s parents, Pearly, Chui Mei & Chui Lin, Big brother Wai Hong, Chun Hau aka Laima, and of course, Sir Arul (the Taekwondo instructor whom we’re all so fond of).

It was a fabulous night.
I would give anything just to relive that night once again.
Being surrounded by my loved ones is the absolute greatest gift ever!
And I must thank my parents for making all these happen.
For letting me celebrate back home.
I am so blessed, and I’d forever treasure this gift.

I’d say this holiday has been the most productive so far.
Managed to meet up with alot more people than usual.
Maybe I always took time for granted.
And with just one week, I did my best to maximise my holiday.

Managed to go for the checkup, and I must thank my lucky stars.
Doctor said it was not a major problem.
My saliva has been accumulating in another salivary gland because the operation on the submandibular gland has disrupted the flow of the saliva.
And the accumulated saliva is what’s causing the lump.
Only thing is, it would take about six months to clear off.

I miss home so so so so so much!
When I went to bed last night (which was actually 6 am this morning), I closed my eyes, and imagined that I was lying on my bed in Malaysia.
Gosh, such comfort thinking.

One thing I’ve gained from being abroad is certainly the realisation that family is the most important in my life.
I’ve learnt to not take my parents for granted.
I’ve learnt to appreciate their naggings, as they’re only doing it out of concern.
I’ve learnt that we can never have the best of both worlds at the same time.
I’ve learnt to make the most of my time.
I’ve learnt so much, and for this, I have my parents to thank for.

I’m back in my homeland.
Savouring every second, every minute of my short 8 days here.
The morning I touched down, my parents made the one hour drive to Klang for their awesome-bawsome BKT!
So superrrr yummy I can almost taste it in my mouth right now!

In KL, shopping is like my only activity besides eating, sleeping and watching movies.
Indulging in parents’ love is also another hobby of mine.

Come Friday, I’ll be celebrating my 21st birthday together with my family and friends.
I am so excited!

Today, I was watching Hitz TV in the morning, and one video caught my attention!
Malaysian Artistes For Unity - Here In My Home.
I know Pearly says I’m outdated cos it’s the first time I actually saw it!
But boy, that song is rather nice and catchy.
Not bad for a Malaysian effort.
I especially liked the fact that they roped in Tony Fernandes to make an appearance.
He’s one person I have my utmost respect for.
Perhaps the celebrities are trying to make a difference in mini Malaysia.

Finally got to meet the brother yesterday after so long!
And Grace and her boy, Jason!
What a compatible couple they make.
Almost made me miss my bf like crazy seeing the two of them so loved up!

Thanks Pearly dear for the wonderful shopping trip today!
I had an amazing time with you!
Love you heaps darling!

And Chee Chui Mei doesn’t love me anymore!
Upset betul! =P

Anyway, tomorrow, I’ll be meeting with Dr. Vijay to examine the lump in my jaw.
Please pray that I’ll be ok.

Love you all!
Goodnight!

So, dear Kimmy has tagged me, and it’s been a long time since I’ve done one. Gosh…I find this very exciting! Well, here goes!

1) I’ve got a very very serious case of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).
I’m sure this is a fact known to many already. I get super upset when I see my place dirty, especially after I’ve spent hours cleaning. Also, I seem to remember where I place my things, the arrangement (because I always arrange them according to height - shortest to tallest), the colour coding, etc. So, if anyone touches anything, I’ll know (but not that I totally mind)! That’s how bad it is! I try to keep my things to a certain similar shade. Do I sound like a freak already? I can also ’see’ imaginary dust and find it necessary to wipe everything a few times a day. Cutleries have to be rinsed before they’re used. And I also carry around a hand sanitizer with me these days. Seems like this disorder is getting the better of me!

2) I love the feeling of wet hands.
And so, I wash my hands all the time. Whenever I feel like it’s too dry for my liking, I’ll just wash it. Also, somehow, I feel like dry hands are dirty.

3) I don’t like seafood.
Used to find it ok, but there was a period of time when I was 15 and we had seafood at least once a week for the whole year that I got so sick of it. Haven’t been a fan since. But geoduck is yum!

4) I look exactly like my dad.
Something I’ve always complained about, much to the dismay of daddy. I’d rather look like mum cos she’s really pretty.

5) When I’m feeling emo, I listen to emo songs to make myself cry.
Jay Chou’s songs never fail to bring tears to my eyes, something that the bf thinks is really stupid cos I don’t even understand the lyrics. But the tune alone is enough to make me emo. My favourites so far are ‘Wu Ding’, ‘Shan Hu Hai’, ‘An Jing’, ‘Wo Bu Pei’, ‘Cai Hong’ and ‘Fa Ru Xue’. And my feel good song, has always been ‘Shine’ by Vanessa Amorosi. I particularly find listening to Jay Chou during train rides very emofying.

6) I’ve been a fan of Ian Thorpe since the age of 13.
I remember reading the September issue of Readers’ Digest in year 2000, and came across the article about him. And later on kept a look out for him at the Sydney Olympics, and boy, was I obsessed with him! Every year when I would come to Aus for holiday, I’d be sure to bring back books, magazines, stamps and everything that I could find about Ian. And it has always been my wish to meet my hero someday. This may sound stupid, but my plan when I was younger, was to study in US. But because I thought it’d be one step closer to my dream, I opted for Australia. And up till now?? I haven’t even met him!

7) I love watching horror and gruesome movies (i.e. Saw)
The gruesome parts totally scare me but I find myself constantly being challenged by some inner part of me to watch them all the time.

I still miss my grandfather everyday.
It’s been eight years since, and I still think about him all the time. He’s so alive in my mind. Whenever I’m down, I always call out to him to guide me. Whenever I’m scared, he’s the one I call out to. Although, yes, his name along with Jesus.

9) I’d do anything for people I love.
Be it my family or friends, I’d go out of my way for them. I know it’s double standard, but I can’t help it! I don’t go round pleasing people I don’t particularly fancy.

10) I need at least seven hours of sleep or I’d get cranky.

11) Back when I was 12, I loved Jewel. And one day, Uncle Charles (mum’s cheeky brother) and mum tricked me into believing that they got me Jewel’s autograph.
Turns out, my uncle signed it and I was sooooooooo embarrassed for falling into their trap. My uncle has always been picking on me since forever, so haha…I’m pretty much used to it now. LOL…

12) When I was younger, I tried to spoil my eyes just so I could wear specs.
Kids do stupid things, don’t they? Yet till now, my power is below 75.

13) I have two rings which I never take off my fingers. They’re from my mum and I’ve been wearing them for three years now, that I almost feel naked without them.

14) I always hold my breath when random people walk past me. When in crowded places, I limit my breathing frequency. I know it’s bad!!!
It’s been a habit since young cos I have a phobia of bad-smelling people. And after one bad-smelling person too many, I decided to not take the risk at all.

15) Sometimes I get really weird dreams and I find them hard to forget.
Just today, I had the strangest cutest dream. Dreamt of a lady with five dogs. One of it, a female black dog (don’t know the breed), is really special cos she can talk! And she’s very beauty conscious, always telling her owner how she wants her hair to be done. The funny thing is, this adorable little dog has bangs! And they’re blown very nicely to the side. If only it was reality =(

There goes, the boring 15 facts about me!

And I’d now tag:
Eileen Kwan
Esther Lau Der Lyn
Ada Chee

And a birthday shoutout goes out to Kimmy!

Happy 21st sweetheart! <3

In the Lunar Calendar, today marks the 15th day of the 8th month.
It also coincides with the Mooncake Festival.
Sadly, in Australia, nobody makes a big deal out of it.

My parents just had to rub it in by video calling me.
They are all gathered at Uncle Charles’ place for a family reunion.
What an awesome celebration they’re having right now.
Gosh…I miss family reunions!
Miss the cousins and the nieces and nephews!
And I made them PROMISE to have another reunion party next Sunday to welcome me back!

Gosh…one week more and I’ll be home!
I can hardly wait.
Worst thing is, I haven’t even started packing and I’ve got two assignments this week.
Le sigh.

Dracula’s this Thursday!
Happy week this will be!

Everyone have a great week ahead.
I have a gut feeling that the next time I will be updating would be when I’m back in Malaysia.

This *click* has got to be one of the most heartbreaking and tragic stories I’ve ever read.

Over the years, euthanasia has been an extremely controversial topic of discussion.
Advocates believe that whether to continue living or dying is completely the choice of the individual and the family.
However, euthanasia has been made illegal in most parts of the world based on the argument that it would lead to disrespect for human life.

I used to think that euthanasia should not be legalized.
But after reading the above article, it changed my mind.
Angelique Flowers was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and given only months to live.
“Frightened of a slow, painful death from a total bowel obstruction, she wanted her life to end peacefully and on her own terms”.
However, the law made it impossible for her wish to be granted.
She spent her final hours vomiting the content of her bowels, the immense pain despite the injection of morphine, we could only imagine.

In the video she filmed before her death, she said many things which I find to be so true.

“The law wouldn’t let a dog suffer the agony I’m going through before an inevitable death. It would be put down. Yet under the law, my life is worth less than a dog’s.”

“If euthanasia was legal, I could have ended my days as I chose, finding peace before leaving this world, not panic and more pain.”

Her brother, Damian said:

“The peaceful ending wasn’t there,” he told The Age. “From the death she could have had, taking the Nembutal, saying her goodbyes to friends and family, having everyone there for her and being where she wanted to be, compared to what she did actually go through, it just doesn’t bear imagining.

“How can that be right? How can society believe terminal patients should be put through awful agonising deaths? Angelique wasn’t afraid of dying; it was more the way she was going to die that she feared.”

She was indeed a remarkable woman.
Do rest in peace.

In my parents’ generation, people at my age would already have settled down with their life-long partners.
Some married, some engaged, some in long-term relationships.
My mum got married at 20 (yes, very very young I know!!!). Dad was 26 at that time.
You see, women used to get attracted to men much much older than themselves.
That’s from what I’ve observed of most of my friends’ parents.
Back then, relationships used to be much simpler, and could even survive the distance!
Contrary to peoples’ beliefs that technology could bring them closer, these days, even with Skype, MSN, Facebook and e-mails, we all perceive long-distance relationships to be doomed-ships!

Now, I am turning 21, and far from thinking about even the slightest hint of marriage.
Back when I was in high school, I thought 20 was the ideal age to tie the knot.
If you were my parents’ child, you’d think so too!
It’s unfortunate that they waited five years before getting a child, ME!
Or I would have an older brother or sister!
=(

Anyway, in this whole new Generation Y era, you hardly find relationships that last.
Yes, that’s the truth, although my Melbourne friends would beg to differ.
Most of the couples I know have been together for more than a year.
Some even last four to six years! *cough*
As for my relationship which turns two-and-a-half-years tomorrow, that is a whole new feat in itself!
Who’d have thought eh?

Anyways, being almost-21 just feels so weird.
Back in those days when I was 14 or so, I used to look up to Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, and the like.
They were all much older than I was.
Now, it’s hard to believe that all the teen stars are about my age, most younger!
It’s like…hey, I feel weird if I were to idolise Miley Cyrus or something.
She’s so much younger!
And how about Hilary Duff, Blake Lively or even Lindsay Lohan?
They’re all about my age!
Goodness gracious.
Are the teen boppers simply getting younger by the day or am I just getting older?

Also, at this age, some of us may have friends getting popular in showbiz.
Some venturing into the limelight, some becoming reigning beauty queens, some on the way to becoming designers.
Gosh, it’s like…woah!
I’m so proud of all these people!
They’re ever so talented.
Sometimes, they make me question where my talent lies haha!

Anyway, my latest discovery so far?

Wernie-Muffin collaborated with Mich-Stit to open this absolutely funky, edgy, yummy

“The Muff-Stit Shop”

and I quote them:

“For All You Hungry People”

A note of warning though, be prepared to indulge in an overload of eye-candies!
It’s so cute, it’s irresistible!

If you’re thinking it’s a cupcake shop or something, you’re wrong!
You’re curious to find out more, huh?
Don’t bother reading on, I shall not reveal.
Let your inquisitive mind tell your fingers what to do.

Still reading?

Gosh, you you you!
Just *click*

Promise you won’t regret.

But your poor little wallets might just smack you on the head a little harder than usual!
Ouch!

As you may all know, this year has been a rough one for me so far.
So much has happened, and I hope it’s all gonna come to an end.
Not sure how much more shit I can handle.

Anyway, mum’s explanation for all the shit that’s come my way is:
1) I cried on the first day on Chinese New Year due to a horrible backache, while having lunch with all my relatives.
2) I bought shoes on the first day of Chinese New Year.

Well, to believe or not to believe?
I really don’t know.
But if that’s really the case, I vow never ever ever to cry again during CNY or whatsoever.
The Chinese call it ‘pantang’ and I’m sure they have these rules for a reason.
Bleh…there you go, my shitty 2008 so far.

On another note, I had an absolutely fun weekend!
Spent time with my girlies: Michelle, Leen, Mayn, Jasmine, Kat.
Susan was a no-show. Upset.

Saturday night was full of incidents.
After the drink at Cho Gao, we were all walking home.
Witnessed four things consecutively.
1) A fight
2) Two locals randomly punching an Asian
3) 7 Aussies vandalising some poor soul’s car
4) A hit-and-run accident

The last scene was met with a huge commotion. Several ambulances and police cars.
I was shaking at the end of it all.
Too much for one night.

Other than that night, everything else was incredible.
Thanks Michelle darling for coming over! Love ya!

Pinch me, slap me, tickle me someone!
Everything seems so surreal I can hardly believe anything.

Remember I mentioned that mum’s coming over for my birthday?
Haha…plan cancelled.

Hey…I’m not a bad daughter ok?
I love my mum!

It’s just that, now the tables have turned.
Instead of mummy coming over,
I am going home!
Woohoo!

This means that I get to celebrate my birthday in the comfort of home.
And with both mum and dad and my extended family!
This way, daddy wouldn’t have to be jealous that he missed out on his “precious” daughter’s birthday.
And I get to be around my FAMILY once again!
I soooooo can’t wait to hug all my little nieces and nephews and cousins and play with them.
Have a kiddy birthday celebration with all of them.
How awesome is that?

This is like the best best best 21st birthday present my parents could ever give me =)
I love you!
Hope I still get that Tag watch though.
But even if I don’t, it doesn’t matter, does it?

Fine, the other reason that I’m actually going back is because I need to see the doctor who operated on me.
Doctors in Australia totally can’t make it, I tell you.
Who ever said that doctors in the Western world were better?
I called a few places to make an appointment to see the ENT specialists.
And guess what?
The earliest appointment I could get was October 6th, all the way in Boxhill.
I told them it was an EMERGENCY, and the best they could give me was September 17th all the way in a suburb I’ve never heard of.

Well…right now, I simply can’t wait for the night of 20th September!
As much as I hate traveling alone, I guess for now, the anticipation overrides that.
When I sleep, I dream about being back home.
When I shop in the city, I keep buying things for people back home.
When I cook, I look forward to eating the FOOD back home!

I sooooo can’t wait!
I miss you daddy and mummy!

And darling Michelle is staying over today.
I can’t wait to see you sweetie! =)
How much better can my weekend get, tell me!
I’m in an awesome-pawsome mood today.

Nothing, not even my OCD-ness can bring me down.

Oh oh oh…and I realised I got my OCD-ness from my dad!
Hahaha he’s all to be blamed for my fussy-ness about the cleanliness of my house.
I can’t stand coming back to a dirty messy home.
And I spend forever cleaning up.
It’s all daddy’s fault.
He won’t let us sit on the floor at home eventhough it’s perfectly clean.
Makes sure we wash our hands constantly, especially after touching our shoes.
He makes us rinse cutleries before we use them.
He only orders bottled mineral water when we eat out.
He carries portable “soap sheets” and cleansing hand wipes with him.
So many more.
Yeah, my dad is freaky, but I can’t wait to see his funny antics once I’m back!
Mum and I totally enjoy “bullying” him heheh!

2 weeks more baby!

Alright, gotta go now.
It’s off to Safeway to grab some groceries.
Have a great weekend peeps!
Toodles!

One thing I.T. has done for me so far, is bringing me close to my family even when I’m 5000 miles away from home.
Being a daddy’s and mummy’s girl, their only child, I’d say, it’s hard being apart from them.
I wonder what they’re up to everyday when I’m not around.
I constantly pray for their safety. In my “screwed up” country, anything could happen.
I’m constantly praying for their health.
Always fearing that anything bad would happen to them.

After many years of shunning off my friends’ obsession with Skype, I decided one day to download it and see what the hype is all about.
Even got mum to download so that we could talk on Skype together.
And little did I know, boy…Skype beats MSN’s ass anytime!
The connection is faster, the video is clearer and does not lag, the sound is also almost like a telephone conversation!
How awesome is that?
Before Skype, we never really bothered video conferencing on MSN cos it’s just way too troublesome!
They’d call or video-call me a couple of times everyday and their monthly phone bills would be sky rocket high!
Now, they still do call, but less, so we save money!
How superb is Skype you tell me!

Shy, I know, but my parents are the only people on my contact list!
No one else wants to add me on Skype it seems.
All my lousy friends! Hmmmph!
Do add me people! I wanna see your faces!

Just yesterday, my niece was at my place with mum and I got to see her pretty face on Skype!
That girl is seriously growing up into a beautiful woman!
And today, I got to see little Natalie who celebrated her 3rd birthday last month!
She’s so so so so so adorable!

Gosh…I miss my family…

Maybe, just maybe, I’d forget about the whole “applying for Australian PR” thing and settle down closer to home.
Singapore or Hong Kong perhaps?

And why am I blogging at such an ungodly hour?
After Derivatives test today, I chilled for abit with Leen, Eddie and Yenshan, then right before dinner time, I decided to take a nap.
But oh boy, my nap which was supposed to last 10 minutes ended up in me falling into a deep sleep for 5 hours!
And just like Cinderella, I woke up right before the clock struck 12 am (11.59pm).

Sometimes, my bf can be the sweetest guy on earth.
He woke me up, heat up the dinner which he cooked for me, and set everything nicely so that I could eat comfortably, in front of the tv.
Then he stayed with me cos he knows I hate eating alone, despite having to do his assignment.
I do appreciate you silly!

My stupid jaw is swelling up again.
An infection, it seems.
Mum called the ENT specialist who treated me, and apparently, it’s because I started chewing on solid food.
O_o
There goes, my temporary joy robbed again.
Gotta seek treatment again.
Bleh. Life sucks.

Like my mum, I love fruits.
Back in Malaysia, we’d eat at least three types of fruits everyday.
The only difference is, I have my dearest Kakak Wati to cut it up for me there.

So today, we had strawberries, Granny Smith apples, Fuji apples, kiwi and oranges after lunch.
As usual, I had to cut them up nicely, and ready to be eaten for the bf and myself.
Was about to place a strawberry into my mouth when I noticed something black sticking in the middle.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed a tiny black worm curled up and snuggling comfortably in its cocoon.
Yuk yuk yuk.
I’m terrified of slimy slimy things like that.
And not just me, the bf is also scared of insects.
Yeah, so sometimes, I end up having to protect him instead of having him protect me.
Bleh.

I’ll never look at strawberries the same way again.
Wonder how many worms I’ve eaten all these while when I simply just pop them in my mouth without looking.
Damn my many phobias.

Sometimes, this building where I’m living in makes me really really angry.
All they care about is cutting the costs of every single thing.
The garbage chute stinks of dead guinea pigs.
They give us lousy blinds.
Only 3 lifts allocated to 46 levels.
Every single day, I spend 5 minutes at least, just waiting for the stupid lift to arrive.
Then when it does arrive, I have to suffer the agonizing trip up and down.
I timed the lift once, it takes approximately 55 seconds to do a non-stop trip down from the 43rd floor.
On bad days however, it stops almost ten times before I finally get off.
How frustrating!
It gets me so pissed some mornings when I’m rushing off to class.
I’ve been to some friends’ places which have 3 lifts servicing 20 levels.
Plus my rent is exorbitant! What total rip-offs!

Am just in a foul mood today.
Pardon me.
Knowing me, patience is not in my genes at all.
It doesn’t take much to tick me off.

Plus, Derivatives is getting to me.
I’ve been trying to study and study.
Yet, nothing seems to stick in my brains.
It gets so annoying when you know you’re trying your best, yet you can’t get it.

Right now, I could sooooooo feel myself explode inside!!!

Therapy therapy, that is soooo what I need right now.