Metamorphosis, The Transformation http://priscille.blog.com/ A twenty-one year old's outlook on life en-US Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:19:45 +0200 Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:19:45 +0200 Blog.com http://priscille.blog.com/4002149/ Sunshine come http://priscille.blog.com/4002149/ Tonight must be one of the worst nights ever.
I've never been in such a foul mood.
Every little thing gets me so upset.

Thank goodness for feel-good songs.

A few songs which I particularly love when I'm down are:

1) Blue - All Rise
2) Blue - If You Come Back
3) Vanessa Amorosi - Shine (This has always been my number 1 feel-good song although it holds no special meaning)
4) Vanessa Amorosi - Everytime I Close My Eyes
5) KT Tunstall - Suddenly I See
6) Gabriella Cilmi - Sweet About Me
7) Simply Red - You Make Me Feel Brand New
8) Savage Garden - Affirmation

Been listening to them all night.
Song #4 makes me cry.
Song #3 will then cheer me up.
Song #5 helps me make sense of everything.
Song #7 makes me emo all over again.
Song #1 brings back great memories.
Song #2 gets me thinking.
Song #8 usually makes me happy.

Tell me again, why am I so vulnerable to the things people say and do.
Why should they affect me at all?
At the end of the day, this is my life I'm living.
And I should be living my life for me.

I tell myself time and again to not get pushed over.
I keep reminding myself to stop hiding everything inside.
Yet, each time when I'm faced with the similar circumstances, I can't seem to open my mouth.
And the whole vicious cycle repeats itself.

You can give your life or
You can lose your soul
You can bang your head
Or you can drown in a hole
Nothing lasts forever
But you can try
Look around you
Everyone you see
Everyone you know
Is going to Shine
- my favourite meaningless song, Shine




I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
- this song speaks my thoughts, Affirmation Priscilla Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:06:33 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/4000200/ I could so strangle someone right now http://priscille.blog.com/4000200/ If I could have one wish, it'd be to get a good night's rest.
For once! Just once.
It's a known fact that when I don't get sufficient sleep, I get very cranky.
And very moody.
And c'mon, to think that my sleep has been sabotaged.
I'm in a terrible mood right now.
Whole day in uni, I felt as though I was floating.
Even the caffeine boost which I got from the so-called "Vitamin Water" did not help.
Feck it, all I need is sleep.
And even my nap had to be cut short because...

Ish!

Even Brinjal can't cheer me up this time =( Priscilla Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:18:54 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3996757/ I wanna be 21 forever! http://priscille.blog.com/3996757/ No wonder Forever 21 is my favourite clothing line.
It all makes perfect sense now.
I don't wanna grow up.
And beyond 21 is just...unacceptable.
I am age-ing, and time is just flying past me at 10,000 miles per hour.

My 21st birthday has got to be my most awesome-est birthday ever.
The best I've ever had, and I'm believing that nothing could ever beat that.
It's like an endless three weeks long celebration.
How could anyone ever forget something like that?
Plus, the surprise from my beloved bf and friends.

Remember how when we were younger, we wanted our birthday cakes to have the amount of candles equivalent to our age?
Now that I'm 21, I still want that amount of candles on my birthday cake!
I'm a kid forever ok!
Being an only child, I used to be super lonely.
And to cheer me up, my parents used to buy me cakes randomly just for fun since I loved blowing the candles out.
Hahaha...
I used to tell people that it was my secret to growing taller.
Come to think of it now, it's absolutely absurd!

Well, I'd like to thank everybody for making this birthday such a very special one for me.
I'll never ever ever forget it!
Thanks for the wishes, be it personal, or through calls, sms-es, FB msg-es.
You made a difference! =)
Thanks for the wonderful presents!
All such beautiful, perfect gifts!
You all made me such a happy girl!

And specially to the bf for planning everything to perfection.
For all the amazing gifts from you.
The necklace, cupcakes, cupcake book, Audrey Hepburn movie DVDs (and also for watching them with me! You're the best baby!), and one more very special present (below)



Eddie & Leen for executing his plans. And Leen for her perfect pasta at my birthday party.



Cheryl for the Superheroes party.



Jack & Cheryl



Pang How & Mei Jing



Jason & Kim

They all look so cool don't they? Hahaha...



Mayn for the yummy ice-cream cake!



Ai Ling for the delicious fried rice =)
*oops don't have your pic babe*

So, all in all, I had three super great birthday parties this year!

One in Malaysia (26/09)

One at Cheryl's place (04/10) - the Superheroes party



I was dressed as Superwoman. That very much explains the pink cape, pink underwear *ahem*
Please, I had another one underneath ok?

And my very own MISMATCHED party (11/10) - thanks for coming everyone!



Ally, Calbert, Serena, Sally, Marie, Elaine, Jian, Shaun



Ally, Mr. Yeff WTF, Mayn



Keith, Gerald, Nicko

Don't laugh at me. The theme was "Mismatched" yo!



Leen, Rainbow, Valerie, Chi
Brinjal decided to join in the fun too! =)



Hao Ern, Leen, Sarah (who's getting a puppy next week woohoooo!)



Rainbow, Leen, aShaunTee



Serena, Jian, Calbert, Me!



Faye (who's getting a puppy too! Sarah's puppy's brother), Jern, Leen



Calbert, Elaine, Valerie

And of course, the wonderful surprise on my birthday, 5th October! Thanks guys! You're all such wonderful friends. Me love you heaps!
*oops, no pictures cos I wasn't expecting it and so, did not charge my camera battery*

The highlight of my birthday this year, is of course, my new little baby Brinjal Burberry!
Thank you bf!



Isn't she like the cutest rabbit ever ever ever??? =)))
Love her to bits!
She's the first thing I look forward to seeing every morning.
The last thing I have to cuddle before I sleep.
She's in my dreams every night.
And I know her so well now.
What she likes, what she dislikes, her weird habits, her not-so-weird habits.
I feel like a mummy already.
And I let her sleep in my arms every night.
Cuddle her like a baby.
She's like the fussiest rabbit ever.
And so pampered and spoilt!
But still, I love her so super much!
I feel like a fifth-grader writing like this.
But really, I'm so in love with my baby Brinjal that I can hardly type properly!

Ok that's all folks.

Back to my baby Brinjal now!
Tata! <3 Priscilla Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:12:57 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3959996/ When the bug attacks http://priscille.blog.com/3959996/ I'm home.
On a Friday night.
All because the bf's down with flu.
And he made me promise to stay home to take care of him.
Gosh, he gets super manja when he's sick.
He seeks attention whenever possible.
He says stupid things like he doesn't have long to live.
All in an effort to make me pamper him, spoil him.

I've finally gotten over my homesick-ness.
All thanks to my wonderful girls, Leen and Mayn for getting me out of the house yesterday for some girly time out.
Lunch and shopping sure heals the homesick blues.
Thank you loves!



Mayn and Leen (had to steal the pic off their Facebook. Hehe!)

Omg...that is like the second ever photo I posted on this blog.
Not because I've been lazy, but because blog.com has only recently upgraded their services.
Now I can upload photos like nobody's business! Yay!



This was taken on the 18th of September when the thirteen of us went for dinner at Dracula's!
My second time there, and it was so much more fun 'cos there were so many of us!
Good times!

Now, I'm searching for more random photos to upload.
Hehe!



Back in KL, at my birthday dinner, with the two gfs that I love sooooo much!
Ivy, you're missing! =(



Thanks Mum and Dad for making it all happen!
And the gifts, I love so much!
My flight ticket, the Tag watch, the diamond w.g. necklace, the w.g. ring, the dinner.
Of course, the best gift ever is your love.
And thanks mummy for giving birth to me.
And for suffering the 9 months to give birth to me.
And for loving me unconditionally!
I had the best birthday ever and I have mum and dad to thank for it all!
Kisses!



The bf and I at Falls Creek early August.



The pretty lady's birthday celebration (August 9th).
Time flies!
It's been two months!



Cheryl's birthday celebration at Koko (16th August)
From L-R: Mei Jing, Pris, Cheryl, Kim, Amanda



When the girls came to town.
From L-R: Michelle, Kathryn, Jasmine, Pris



My bf's other half.



Mabel is in town.
From L-R: Mabel, Jamie, Pris, Michelle.
This picture is a direct shoutout to Ada Chee Chui Mei!
See what you're missing! =P
Kidding la babes...we miss u! Priscilla Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:04:54 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3952503/ All I want is... http://priscille.blog.com/3952503/ To lock myself up in the room, alone, turn on my favourite emo song, "Bo Go Ship Da"

And cry and cry and cry.

Serious case of homesick-ness.
Perhaps it's because the trip back home was such a fun-filled one.
I couldn't get enough of everything.
And it was way too short.

Melbourne is miserable.
I hate it.
And I just don't even feel like planning my birthday party.
Fuck it all.
And just cry and sleep.
Then wake up next Monday, a year older.
Just let it pass.

I hate this. Priscilla Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:35:10 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3949377/ Moon river, wider than a mile http://priscille.blog.com/3949377/ Lately, I've been addicted to all things Audrey Hepburn!
To me, she's this timeless beauty, which does not age with time.
Even her version of Moon River is a timeless piece.
I love it! I love her!

Back in high school, mum used to make me watch olden black and white movies together with her.
And I always refused and made a big fuss, because they were black and white!
Then one fine day, I was 'forced' to watch "My Fair Lady" with mum.
And boy, was I enthralled by Audrey Hepburn's ravishing beauty.
She's the ultimate upper-class beauty, whom you can place anything on, and she'll just glow in them.
She even looks beautiful in rags!
Can you imagine?

I arrived back in Melbourne yesterday.
And I'm homesick as hell right now.
I've been crying all night, and all morning.
It's almost sickening, seeing my swollen eyes.
And to make things worse, I just have to play my favourite sad songs in the background to drown out my sobs.
Which in turn, makes me cry even more.
But thank goodness for Eileen, for she's one person who can talk some sense into me!

Now that I'm all cried out, it's time to talk about my awesome one week back in Malaysia.
Honestly, I'd say that this year, albeit my worst year ever, turned out to be my best birthday so far!
Although the actual birthday is this Sunday, we celebrated earlier in Malaysia.
Friday night was my birthday dinner and Dad got two tables at South Sea.
Invited my close family and friends.
My dearest Daddy & Mummy, Uncle Charles & family, Grandma all the way from Singapore, Yenshan's parents, Pearly, Chui Mei & Chui Lin, Big brother Wai Hong, Chun Hau aka Laima, and of course, Sir Arul (the Taekwondo instructor whom we're all so fond of).

It was a fabulous night.
I would give anything just to relive that night once again.
Being surrounded by my loved ones is the absolute greatest gift ever!
And I must thank my parents for making all these happen.
For letting me celebrate back home.
I am so blessed, and I'd forever treasure this gift.

I'd say this holiday has been the most productive so far.
Managed to meet up with alot more people than usual.
Maybe I always took time for granted.
And with just one week, I did my best to maximise my holiday.

Managed to go for the checkup, and I must thank my lucky stars.
Doctor said it was not a major problem.
My saliva has been accumulating in another salivary gland because the operation on the submandibular gland has disrupted the flow of the saliva.
And the accumulated saliva is what's causing the lump.
Only thing is, it would take about six months to clear off.

I miss home so so so so so much!
When I went to bed last night (which was actually 6 am this morning), I closed my eyes, and imagined that I was lying on my bed in Malaysia.
Gosh, such comfort thinking.

One thing I've gained from being abroad is certainly the realisation that family is the most important in my life.
I've learnt to not take my parents for granted.
I've learnt to appreciate their naggings, as they're only doing it out of concern.
I've learnt that we can never have the best of both worlds at the same time.
I've learnt to make the most of my time.
I've learnt so much, and for this, I have my parents to thank for. Priscilla Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:04:14 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3924977/ Home is second to none! http://priscille.blog.com/3924977/ I'm back in my homeland.
Savouring every second, every minute of my short 8 days here.
The morning I touched down, my parents made the one hour drive to Klang for their awesome-bawsome BKT!
So superrrr yummy I can almost taste it in my mouth right now!

In KL, shopping is like my only activity besides eating, sleeping and watching movies.
Indulging in parents' love is also another hobby of mine.

Come Friday, I'll be celebrating my 21st birthday together with my family and friends.
I am so excited!

Today, I was watching Hitz TV in the morning, and one video caught my attention!
Malaysian Artistes For Unity - Here In My Home.
I know Pearly says I'm outdated cos it's the first time I actually saw it!
But boy, that song is rather nice and catchy.
Not bad for a Malaysian effort.
I especially liked the fact that they roped in Tony Fernandes to make an appearance.
He's one person I have my utmost respect for.
Perhaps the celebrities are trying to make a difference in mini Malaysia.

Finally got to meet the brother yesterday after so long!
And Grace and her boy, Jason!
What a compatible couple they make.
Almost made me miss my bf like crazy seeing the two of them so loved up!

Thanks Pearly dear for the wonderful shopping trip today!
I had an amazing time with you!
Love you heaps darling!

And Chee Chui Mei doesn't love me anymore!
Upset betul! =P

Anyway, tomorrow, I'll be meeting with Dr. Vijay to examine the lump in my jaw.
Please pray that I'll be ok.

Love you all!
Goodnight! Priscilla Wed, 24 Sep 2008 02:03:49 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3891686/ You've been tagged: 15 Little Things About You http://priscille.blog.com/3891686/ So, dear Kimmy has tagged me, and it's been a long time since I've done one. Gosh...I find this very exciting! Well, here goes!

1) I've got a very very serious case of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).
I'm sure this is a fact known to many already. I get super upset when I see my place dirty, especially after I've spent hours cleaning. Also, I seem to remember where I place my things, the arrangement (because I always arrange them according to height - shortest to tallest), the colour coding, etc. So, if anyone touches anything, I'll know (but not that I totally mind)! That's how bad it is! I try to keep my things to a certain similar shade. Do I sound like a freak already? I can also 'see' imaginary dust and find it necessary to wipe everything a few times a day. Cutleries have to be rinsed before they're used. And I also carry around a hand sanitizer with me these days. Seems like this disorder is getting the better of me!

2) I love the feeling of wet hands.
And so, I wash my hands all the time. Whenever I feel like it's too dry for my liking, I'll just wash it. Also, somehow, I feel like dry hands are dirty.

3) I don't like seafood.
Used to find it ok, but there was a period of time when I was 15 and we had seafood at least once a week for the whole year that I got so sick of it. Haven't been a fan since. But geoduck is yum!

4) I look exactly like my dad.
Something I've always complained about, much to the dismay of daddy. I'd rather look like mum cos she's really pretty.

5) When I'm feeling emo, I listen to emo songs to make myself cry.
Jay Chou's songs never fail to bring tears to my eyes, something that the bf thinks is really stupid cos I don't even understand the lyrics. But the tune alone is enough to make me emo. My favourites so far are 'Wu Ding', 'Shan Hu Hai', 'An Jing', 'Wo Bu Pei', 'Cai Hong' and 'Fa Ru Xue'. And my feel good song, has always been 'Shine' by Vanessa Amorosi. I particularly find listening to Jay Chou during train rides very emofying.

6) I've been a fan of Ian Thorpe since the age of 13.
I remember reading the September issue of Readers' Digest in year 2000, and came across the article about him. And later on kept a look out for him at the Sydney Olympics, and boy, was I obsessed with him! Every year when I would come to Aus for holiday, I'd be sure to bring back books, magazines, stamps and everything that I could find about Ian. And it has always been my wish to meet my hero someday. This may sound stupid, but my plan when I was younger, was to study in US. But because I thought it'd be one step closer to my dream, I opted for Australia. And up till now?? I haven't even met him!

7) I love watching horror and gruesome movies (i.e. Saw)
The gruesome parts totally scare me but I find myself constantly being challenged by some inner part of me to watch them all the time.

8) I still miss my grandfather everyday.
It's been eight years since, and I still think about him all the time. He's so alive in my mind. Whenever I'm down, I always call out to him to guide me. Whenever I'm scared, he's the one I call out to. Although, yes, his name along with Jesus.

9) I'd do anything for people I love.
Be it my family or friends, I'd go out of my way for them. I know it's double standard, but I can't help it! I don't go round pleasing people I don't particularly fancy.

10) I need at least seven hours of sleep or I'd get cranky.

11) Back when I was 12, I loved Jewel. And one day, Uncle Charles (mum's cheeky brother) and mum tricked me into believing that they got me Jewel's autograph.
Turns out, my uncle signed it and I was sooooooooo embarrassed for falling into their trap. My uncle has always been picking on me since forever, so haha...I'm pretty much used to it now. LOL...

12) When I was younger, I tried to spoil my eyes just so I could wear specs.
Kids do stupid things, don't they? Yet till now, my power is below 75.

13) I have two rings which I never take off my fingers. They're from my mum and I've been wearing them for three years now, that I almost feel naked without them.

14) I always hold my breath when random people walk past me. When in crowded places, I limit my breathing frequency. I know it's bad!!!
It's been a habit since young cos I have a phobia of bad-smelling people. And after one bad-smelling person too many, I decided to not take the risk at all.

15) Sometimes I get really weird dreams and I find them hard to forget.
Just today, I had the strangest cutest dream. Dreamt of a lady with five dogs. One of it, a female black dog (don't know the breed), is really special cos she can talk! And she's very beauty conscious, always telling her owner how she wants her hair to be done. The funny thing is, this adorable little dog has bangs! And they're blown very nicely to the side. If only it was reality =(

There goes, the boring 15 facts about me!

And I'd now tag:
Eileen Kwan
Esther Lau Der Lyn
Ada Chee

And a birthday shoutout goes out to Kimmy!

Happy 21st sweetheart! <3 Priscilla Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:32:00 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3869220/ Happy Mooncake Festival http://priscille.blog.com/3869220/ In the Lunar Calendar, today marks the 15th day of the 8th month.
It also coincides with the Mooncake Festival.
Sadly, in Australia, nobody makes a big deal out of it.

My parents just had to rub it in by video calling me.
They are all gathered at Uncle Charles' place for a family reunion.
What an awesome celebration they're having right now.
Gosh...I miss family reunions!
Miss the cousins and the nieces and nephews!
And I made them PROMISE to have another reunion party next Sunday to welcome me back!

Gosh...one week more and I'll be home!
I can hardly wait.
Worst thing is, I haven't even started packing and I've got two assignments this week.
Le sigh.

Dracula's this Thursday!
Happy week this will be!

Everyone have a great week ahead.
I have a gut feeling that the next time I will be updating would be when I'm back in Malaysia. Priscilla Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:26:03 +0200 http://priscille.blog.com/3860731/ Euthanasia http://priscille.blog.com/3860731/ This *click* has got to be one of the most heartbreaking and tragic stories I've ever read.

Over the years, euthanasia has been an extremely controversial topic of discussion.
Advocates believe that whether to continue living or dying is completely the choice of the individual and the family.
However, euthanasia has been made illegal in most parts of the world based on the argument that it would lead to disrespect for human life.

I used to think that euthanasia should not be legalized.
But after reading the above article, it changed my mind.
Angelique Flowers was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and given only months to live.
"Frightened of a slow, painful death from a total bowel obstruction, she wanted her life to end peacefully and on her own terms".
However, the law made it impossible for her wish to be granted.
She spent her final hours vomiting the content of her bowels, the immense pain despite the injection of morphine, we could only imagine.

In the video she filmed before her death, she said many things which I find to be so true.

"The law wouldn't let a dog suffer the agony I'm going through before an inevitable death. It would be put down. Yet under the law, my life is worth less than a dog's."

"If euthanasia was legal, I could have ended my days as I chose, finding peace before leaving this world, not panic and more pain."

Her brother, Damian said:

"The peaceful ending wasn't there," he told The Age. "From the death she could have had, taking the Nembutal, saying her goodbyes to friends and family, having everyone there for her and being where she wanted to be, compared to what she did actually go through, it just doesn't bear imagining.

"How can that be right? How can society believe terminal patients should be put through awful agonising deaths? Angelique wasn't afraid of dying; it was more the way she was going to die that she feared."

She was indeed a remarkable woman.
Do rest in peace. Priscilla Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:16:56 +0200