Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Live your dreams

Do appreciate life when all is going well for you.
Do appreciate the times when you get to laugh.
Even when you cry, it's not the end of the world.
Even a broken heart can be mended.
Even a wound can be healed.

Just got back to KL last night.
Flight was smooth, no turbulence, to my dismay.
I love turbulence, I really do.
It's like a never-ending rollercoaster ride.
And I especially enjoy the adrenaline rush.
Happy to see my parents. Very darn happy.
Loving the warm weather.
Loving my bed, my bathroom, my computer, my everything.

But maybe, my life is running out of good news somehow?

Visited the ENT specialist, Dr. Koay at Gleneagles this morning to check up on my swell.
Turns out...it's a stone.
A freaking stone.
How it got there, I'm not sure.
But...a stone???
Wait...am I not too young to get stones?
No, apparently.

And so...the gruelling ordeal begins today.
Eff me. My life is effing screwed up right now.
Mind you, I'm scared of needles. Terrifyingly scared of them!
But life wouldn't spare me just a little.

I've thought about it.
Maybe I've been a bad person.
Maybe I'm being punished?
Maybe I'm just unlucky?
Maybe life is just unfair?
Maybe everything happens for a reason?
Maybe...maybe...just maybe...

But...why me?
I've been a good person.
I don't backstab.
I don't sabotage.
I don't steal.
I don't sleep around.
I don't do anything I shouldn't do.
So, why me? Why?

Infact, I've done my part for charity.
I always do.
I help the homeless, I help the needy.
So, why me?

Sigh...isn't life so unpredictable?

The CT scan tomorrow will confirm everything.

And we're looking into performing an operation.
Once again, why me?

I'm not prepared to go through the pain.

Being a commerce student, I've been calculating the number of times I would have to be poked by stupid needles.
It all adds up to about four times minimum?
Goodness gracious.

I am gonna live through it all.
I will survive.

What it has taught me though.
Is that, when you're well and healthy, never take life for granted.
Enjoy yourself.
Make yourself happy.
Live life full.
Live your dreams.

God please be with me...
Posted by Priscilla at 18:30:51 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I want a pet pig

After watching Denise Richards: It's Complicated, the thought of having a pet pig suddenly seemed so appealing.
I've always wanted a pet pig.
They look so cute, don't you think so?
They're so super chubby and they're pink!
Ok, fine, so not all pigs are totally pink but my dream pig will be pink like the one in "Uptown Girls".
Molly's (Brittany Murphy) little pig was super adorable!
I want a pig. At least there'll be someone to share my food with me?
Just wondering how much one pig would cost.
But it can't be that pricey huh?
Since pork costs quite little.
Ok, dream dream dream.
I'll probably face 100% objection from mum, dad and the bf.
Bleh.

So exams are over. Full-stop.

And the swell is still here. Bleh.
Life sucks right now.

Can't wait to go back on Monday! Wheee...
Life's always superbly amazing in Malaysia woohoo! =)

Ah that's it!
I really really really want a pet pig!!!
Posted by Priscilla at 21:42:50 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

When the dogs come out to play in the rain

One more paper and I'm good to go.
Can't wait!
This whole thing is killing me.
Studying everyday since the 1st of June.
Well, minus three days when I was bed-ridden.

The salivary gland is still blocked.
The swelling is still visible.
And yes, I do look as though I have a massive case of a double-chin now.
Bleh...my whole jaw is swollen!
It's turned me uglier than ugly.

I hate Product and Brand Management.
I hate the theories.
I hate the fact that I have to memorise everything blindly.
I hate the fact that I don't understand anything.

I hate Investments.
I hate the fact that I think that I am gonna fail that shit.
I hate the fact that it plagues me all day.
I hate the fact that the fear is always at the back of my head.

I think I can go on and on.
Am on a hating fit.

What makes me happy though?
It's that I'll be seeing mum and dad in 6 days! I can't wait!!!
I miss Malaysian air.
I miss the hot weather.
And of course, there's also the newly renovated bathroom to look forward to.
And family, good food, the scorching heat...everything I'm missing right now.
They're all just six days away!

For now...I shall do my final run.
I can do it.
I will pass.
I must pass.
I am GOING TO PASS!

P.s. To my awesome boyfriend who reads this (I know it 'cos you bookmarked my blog and I'm using your laptop right now!), thank you for cooking for me! I can smelly your yummy creamy fettucine from here. Yummmm...me love u long time!
Posted by Priscilla at 20:12:47 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Life sucks when all the world is playing while you're stuck at home studying

Goodness gracious.

I have two more papers on Tuesday and Wednesday. And it's proving almost impossible to study. The bf's having fun - WITHOUT ME. My buddies are all hanging out - WITHOUT ME! 

And you know, it's so sad...the devil's luring me to participate in their joyous gatherings and yet...I gotta say NO.

Haha...actually no, my friends won't do that to me. Right??? They'll stay home, lock themselves up, not have fun, and only come out to play this 25th, when my exams are all over! Wheee...Only kidding. Go have fun lah! I love my own fun too. Studying is so super awesome ok?

Wrapping myself up in my Brunkrissla in the cold cold winter while everyone else is out shopping in the cold. Hahaha! I love my life.

Ok fine, so I'm just making myself feel better but... =(

So, we watched Sex and The City two weeks ago and I love love love that show. Did not catch the series, but I think I'd download them soon! Love the clothes, love the shoes, love the women. Women want what they want when they want it! I like that attitude. Girl power yo! (I think the boyfriend secretly enjoyed the movie too, only thing is, he's got too much of an inflated sense of ego to admit it)

Yesterday, we watched You Do Not Want to Mess With The Zohan. Funny show, but not much of a story line. It's a good show to watch if you're feeling down. That's so my case. Watching the whole world party while I'm still in the midst of exams? That honestly sucks to the max.

And now...I gotta hit the books again. Le sigh. 600 pages worth of reading material to go through. 

25th June 2008.
Mark the date. 
The day where I'll be jumping up and down, in hilarious motion at the Carlton Gardens, celebrating my immense joy cum victory. 

But July 11th, when the results are released, I'm not so sure that will be the case anymore. And honestly, from the bottom of the pit of my heart, I swear I'll be happy and happier and happiest if I could just PASS everything. Pass without flying colours, I don't mind. I don't mind passing black and white. Who cares. As long as it's a PASS. Phew...


And come 30th June, I'll be flying off! Out of this miserable cold winter and back to the land of endless sunshine. My home sweet home! Wheee...Miss my parents like crazy. It's been freaking four months since I last saw them! Sobs...I needa get home asap! And so much plans on the list already. Mostly plans which involve pain.

Removing my three wisdom teeth.
Medical checkup.

But definitely:
Change hairstyle, colour whatever.
Manicure pedicure for my worn out hands, thanks to all the housework I gotta do here.
Singapore! Wheee...to visit relatives and...SALES!!!

So much to do, so little time. Three weeks is sooooooo little!

Tata!
Posted by Priscilla at 13:31:13 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Don't wanna grow up

Posted by Priscilla at 01:18:30 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Lessons

Lesson learnt in life #1:
Be careful what you say.
Some things you say, you can never take back. 
Then you may live to regret forever.

Lesson learnt in life #2:
Never jump to conclusions.
Think before you act.
Some things you do, you can never take back.
Then you may live to regret forever.

Lesson learnt in life #3:
Be careful with words.
Some words you use, you can never take back.
Then you may live to regret forever.

There you go. Three things that would have taken more than 20 years of my life to realise, yet only took me one night to learn.

Bites tongue. Horrible horrible. Or rather, the fingers.

Arrrghhh...eff it!
Posted by Priscilla at 16:02:14 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday, June 13, 2008

Unwell

Seems like the swell on my right jaw is getting worse. The lump in my salivary gland is expanding by the day, so big that it's spread down to my jaw. It's crazy nuts! The pain is getting more and more unbearable and I don't know what to do. I can't even swallow food now without feeling pain. It's a good thing that I can still laugh. Laughing is a huge part of me. It's also a good thing that it's not exactly interfering with my studies. Yet. Except, of course, I do sleep a little more than usual these days.

Sigh...I really don't know what to do. What to expect. I'm fearing the worst. But doctor said it's just that my saliva got trapped in the glands and stopped producing more. But how odd is that. Don't know why, but I can't seem to trust the doctors here. You tell them your symptoms, they type into the computer and the computer generates the results for them. And even when he's diagnosing you with the proper antibiotics, he refers to a book. Yes, he's nice and all that, but still, my heart is not at ease.

Did my research online and all that I see is websites suggesting that the symptoms are related to stones/tumours/what not. So scary that it put me off researching anymore.

At times like these, I wish I was back home in Malaysia. Need my mum's tender loving care. Dad to throw all my complaints at and who 'layans' my tears. Grandma to advise us on what to do and all. Ah...how I wish. Oh well...just another two weeks and home it is.

And which reminds me. Today is the 8th anniversary of my grandfather's passing. I miss him everyday. I used to be so attached to him and him leaving was a huge pain for me. Every time I see anybody's grandfather pick them up from school, I tear a little. Reminds me of how I shared that special bond with my Ye Ye. He's a special man and I don't understand why, but to me, it seems like I'm the only one missing him so much. Perhaps, I spent the most time with him among all the grandchildren? Nine of us, all in pairs except me, six of which are already married and doing well in their lives. The closest is one who's nine years older. Then the two younger ones. The closest is nine years younger. Which leaves me right smack in the middle. And being the only child, naturally I got all the attention. But yeah, he was a really really good man. 

And btw, it's Ada Chee Chui Mei's 21st birthday today! Happy birthday sweetheart. I've known you since we were 13 and seems like just yesterday that we did our ERT projects together at your place. And how we'd car pool every Saturday mornings for our Taekwondo training. Our sleepovers, chatting until early in the mornings, and the panda eyes. Then also the baking and cooking together which usually ends up with you doing everything just because you had more experience and I had zero. Wait till you see me now! I can bake and cook ok??? I love you darling...

Ah, I feel better now after ranting so much. But the swell...let's just hope it goes away.
Posted by Priscilla at 12:18:56 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Smile at the world and the world smiles back at you

To my ever-loving boyfriend:

Somewhere along those lines, we lost our sense of time.
Seemed like it was just yesterday where we had our first date.
You, me, and that bottle of Baileys.
On feet, we trotted over to Carlton Gardens.
And today, again, we were there for our first paper.
I never told you this.
But every time we're there, I try to look out for the spot where we sat on the first time.
It was my first time sitting "comfortably" on grass.
Never had, never would have if it wasn't for you.
Being the hygiene freak that I am, sitting on anything but a proper chair was a turn-off.
But you changed all that.
And you, being you, made me sit for a whole four hours.
Spilt out my whole life's story within that short period.
Never have I, in my life gotten along so well with a stranger I had known only for a week.
Never have I, in my life met anyone as selfless as you, who'd listen on for four hours.
You are like the diary I never had.
I tell you all the stupid embarrassing happy funny sad moments.
And you preserve them in your memory, never telling a single soul.
Although yes, you do use them against me sometimes.

So, I may still be as OCD as I've always been, but just so you know, it's getting better now.
The imaginary dust on "dirty" restaurant forks and spoons?
You seem to have adapted well to wiping them off with tissue for me.
My rule of rinsing everything before using, you seem to have adapted well to that.
My fuss about having the toilet bowl white as paper, you agree on that.
Your rule about making the beds every morning, I let you handle that.
We coordinate so well at times it's even scary.
Like how you'd press for the lift while I'd lock up the door.
I'd cook and you'd do the dishes.
I'd sleep and you help me make my bed.
Haha...how awesome is that?

Sometimes, it seems like living under the same roof as you is the worst mistake of my life, thanks to your certain annoying habits, but other times, it makes me see you in a different light. Makes me love you more. Makes me feel as though, there's a bond between us that is so strong, so inseparable, so genuine. I can look at you and I see myself. Not because you look like me (not that you have that privilege haha! only kidding!), but because I see myself inside you. Our souls have become so in tune with each other's that we now know what the other is thinking. We think of the same random things and speak them out loud at the same moment. We understand each other so well. And all that, I must say I'm very proud of.

It's like, you're my soulmate, not just a boyfriend.
Not just any boyfriend, you're more than that.
You're my brother when we fight over the TV.
You're my best friend because we share our happiest/saddest moments together.
You're my sister *cough* because we shop together.
You're my grandma, especially when you nag at me.
But what you are, most importantly, is my love!

Throughout these 27 months, you've proven me once and again that I had the ability to love deeply and place my 100% trust in a guy. Never knew that side of me until you came into my life. You changed me and yet retained the good side of me. Well, minus my temper, which if you did not realise, only gets ticked off by you mainly.

But hey, don't people always say there has to be a balance between the good and the bad?

So, all I want to say is I love you and I'm sure I always will.
Thank you for being such a fantastic boyfriend.
Thank you for accompanying me to the clinic today despite having to study for your papers.
Thanks for giving me the strength and coaxing me when I cry due to the pain.
Thanks for giving my heavily infected swollen jaw the healing touch that it needs.
Thanks for assuring me that everything is gonna be alright.
Thanks for being my pillar of strength throughout everything.
Thanks for being my twinkle of hope in a somewhat dark world.
Thanks for not shunning me off.

I love you with all my heart.

Signed,
Your loving sweetheart
Posted by Priscilla at 23:44:35 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Monday, June 09, 2008

!@#$%^&*()

WTF man...

Why are some people so effing inconsiderate?

I'm sick. I need to effing sleep early. I need to effing study!

Why can't you be more effing understanding and let me rest?

Why must you steal my whole night and effing waste my bloody time?
Posted by Priscilla at 01:40:38 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Miserable winter

It's getting so cold lately.
And the weather keeps getting more erratic by the day.
Like yesterday, it was wet and gloomy.
And today, the sun suddenly decided to come out to play.
It's hot inside the house, and so darn cold outside.
Damn bleh.

And thanks to the weather and apparently some epidemic that's going around,
I AM SICK!

Yes I know, tell me about it.
Days away from the exams and I AM SICK!
Such bad timing.
Scratch that. 
Such HORRIBLE timing.

I was actually sick since Friday and so I spent all day Friday and Saturday sleeping and moping around.
Can't even fulfill my obligation as a student to study and prepare for my exams.
Bleh.

Thank goodness I started studying much earlier this semester.
That I have to thank my friends.
For pressuring me and always having study dates at Baillieu together.
Seriously, studying in a big group is so much more fun than all alone.
Whenever you get sick of studying, you can all gather in a group and chat about silly things, much to the dismay of others in the library.
Many times I swear people give us the glare, hinting for us to shut up.
Ok la...maybe I'm just being sensitive.
But sometimes when it's other people who are making the noise, I'd get so pissed.
I'll be so tempted to stand up and yell at them to shut up.
But if it's my friends making the noise, I somehow don't feel that urge to kick them.
LOL...double standard I know!


Gosh...talking about all these makes me miss the library.
Haven't been there since Friday, afraid of infecting people around me.
Arrghhh...please help me get well soon...

On another note, attended Beautiful Woman yesterday.
It was supposed to be a two-day thing, but I only attended the final session last night 'cos I was really sick.
Couldn't enjoy the event as much as I wish I could 'cos of the throat.
Darn, I couldn't even open my mouth properly to worship!

Anyway...just another three weeks and I'll be back in Malaysia!! Wheeee...
It's so funny how my friends tell me I don't give them a chance to miss me.
My first year, I went back three times.
Last year, twice.
And this year, hopefully just once?
If all goes well and I graduate by December, I'll be proceeding with the PR applications and won't be back till next April for my parents' birthdays.

Ah...it sucks having to grow up so soon.
Seems like just yesterday that I was in primary school.
At that time, all I looked forward to was getting to secondary school.
Next, it was college I was excited about.
Then uni.

Now, that I'm almost done with uni, I can't imagine myself joining the workforce.
After that, it'd be getting married.
And the next, having a baby.

And seriously, once I become a mother, I dunno what else in the world I wouldn't have achieved yet.

Well...it's a long long way to go...
Posted by Priscilla at 15:01:52 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |